Take today, when i was so sick this morning, he came online and i kid you not, I was just so so relieved that this feeling of calm just came over me instantly. and he checked up on me all day long and it was just the coolest thing. It reminded me why i'm in this. Because he's Dave. And i see something in Dave that even he himself manages to hide pretty well sometimes. But I see something special and I like it. I like us. I like how we are. I just hope i'm making him feel good, cos that's the point ultimately. No use in me feeling good if i can't do the same for him. And i sitll just don't know what i really mean to him. his sms that night confused me. he said "he wants to look into my eyes and tell me exactly what i mean to him". ??? oh well, I'm always feeling good so that's a great thing. The times i'm not feeling good he fixes pretty quickly if they were his fault. Well i generally feel good but i feel even better when he's being cool and not full of shit. Fuck, this has been an ego inflation entry if ever there was. Kinda had to make up for my rant in the previous entry i guess. Ya, so i'd better not delete this lest i start losing perspective. that wouldn't be good. Fortunately I forget bad things, so it's cool. Shit, i really must sleep now. oh ya, saw certain people at varsity on friday. My point was made even clearer, I think I have my answer to the question i don't know his answer to. whatever that may in actual fact be. I'm talking shit now cos i'm wasted. Emotion sickness indeed.